Subverting Patriarchy: A Practical Guide

How to resist a system of power that converts all forms of difference into hierarchies of domination and control.

Men Aren't My Enemy, But the Patriarchy Is

When I updated my LinkedIn bio to say I focus on "causes, stories, orgs, and founders that subvert patriarchy," and started using this language to describe my current professional mission, the responses ranged from a well-meaning suggestion that I might be "more effective with a less divisive word" to the straight-shooting "cringe." I get it - in many professional spaces, the word 'patriarchy' crashes conversations faster than a blue screen of death. It makes people uncomfortable, because that’s exactly how the patriarchy needs us to feel.

The Cambridge Dictionary defines patriarchy as “...the control by men, rather than women or both men and women, of most of the power and authority in a society” and Oxford Languages defines it as, “a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it.”

At the top of the power hierarchy are tech’s very own Broligarchs who prefer we exist like NPCs (non-player characters, for the non-gamers among us) unquestionably going through the motions of a construct-reinforcing construct that grows their fortunes while we fundraise for our neighbor’s cancer treatment or home turned to ashes as a consequence of climate change.

Subverting is to undermine the power and authority of an established system. It’s imagining - and building - something better

Tell me again what’s wrong with subverting patriarchy?

A Brief History

While patriarchal systems have ancient roots, their modern form crystallized during the Industrial Revolution. As historian Silvia Federici shows in "Caliban and the Witch" (2004), the transition to industrial capitalism relied heavily on controlling women's labor and reproductive rights.

The 20th century then turbocharged these systems through mass media, consumer culture, and corporate structures. Betty Friedan's "The Feminine Mystique" (1963) documented how post-WWII America weaponized advertising and social pressure to push women out of the workforce and into isolated suburban households. Meanwhile, corporations developed hierarchical management systems that scholars like Rosabeth Moss Kanter have shown were explicitly designed around masculine ideals of competition and dominance.

Today's patriarchy operates like a sophisticated algorithm, one that's been trained on centuries of corrupt data. It's not just about men having power over women – the patriarchy is a system of power that converts all forms of difference into hierarchies of domination and control.

All Roads Lead to Patriarchy

My mission to subvert the patriarchy isn’t about hating men. It’s about recognizing how many systems of oppression that we operate within, such as healthcare inequalities, the wealth and wage gap, environmental destruction, homophobia, transphobia, racism, toxic masculinity – and about asking who benefits from all of this hate. One answer rises to the top over and over — patriarchy.

Patriarchy and Healthcare Disparities

Women’s healthcare is historically under-researched and under-resourced, and women’s pain is under-trusted. Women wait longer than men for pain meds in the ER. Research shows they’re ignored, misdiagnosed, and underserved systematically. (Hoffmann & Tarzian, 2001). Women are 50% more likely to be misdiagnosed after a heart attack (University of Leeds, 2016), and it takes on average 5 years for a woman to receive an autoimmune disease diagnoses, despite women making up 78% of autoimmune disease (Autoimmune Association, 2019). These disparities multiply for women of color, with Black women in the US being 3-4 times more likely to die from pregnancy-related complications than white women (CDC, 2019).

This systematic dismissal of women's health concerns keeps women exhausted, doubting themselves, and spending time and resources on multiple consultations.

Patriarchy and the Wealth Gap

Research shows venture capital firms with all-male partners invest in female founders only 2% of the time (PitchBook, 2023). Women still earn 82 cents for every dollar earned by men – a gap that hasn't meaningfully changed in decades (Pew Research, 2023). By keeping women economically dependent or stretched thin, the system maintains power imbalances and ensures resources stay concentrated in the hands of the few.

Patriarchy and Environmental Destruction

The current climate crisis follows patriarchal patterns of exploitation, documented by Indigenous feminist scholars like Winona LaDuke, like seeing nature as something to be dominated rather than lived with in balance. Communities most impacted by environmental degradation are disproportionately led by women, particularly women of color (UN Women, 2022).

This exploitative relationship with nature reinforces the patriarchal belief in dominance over stewardship, while ensuring vulnerable communities remain focused on survival rather than systemic change.

Patriarchy and Gender Identity

At its core, patriarchy depends on rigid gender roles that enforce a strict hierarchy: men must dominate, women must submit, and everyone must stay in their assigned lane. Queer and trans people threaten this system by their very existence – they prove that gender isn't binary, that masculinity and femininity exist on a spectrum, that people can define themselves outside of patriarchal expectations. When a trans woman claims her identity, when a gay man rejects traditional masculinity, when a non-binary person exists outside the binary altogether, they expose the artificial nature of gender roles that patriarchy depends on for control. This is why patriarchal systems respond with such violence to LGBTQ+ people – not because of any real threat they pose, but because their authenticity reveals patriarchy's lies about gender, power, and what it means to be human.

Patriarchy and Racial Identity

It’s not a straightforward battle of the sexes. Men of color are at the bottom of the patriarchy pyramid, often otherized or fetishized to allow for value within specific constraints such as music or sports – but largely, Black men face brutal over-policing, economic barriers, and systemic discrimination while being blamed for their own oppression, a dynamic that keeps patriarchal power structures firmly in white hands.

Patriarchy and white supremacy are interdependent systems of domination that perpetuate inequality. Together, they create a hierarchy where white, cisgender men sit at the apex, benefiting from and enforcing structures that oppress others.

Kimberlé Crenshaw’s concept of intersectionality highlights how patriarchy and white supremacy intersect to create unique forms of oppression. For example, Black women experience discrimination not just as women or as Black individuals, but at the intersection of these identities. This compounded marginalization is evident in workplace bias, healthcare disparities, and media representation. Both systems use economic inequality as a tool of control. Patriarchy undervalues women’s labor, while white supremacy marginalizes workers of color. This is starkly evident in the gendered and racialized wage gaps, where Black and Latina women earn far less than white women for the same work.

The Path Forward

Subverting patriarchy isn’t about cosplay witchcraft (though I will also be doing that). It’s about questioning everything– swapping domination for collaboration, extraction for care, and scarcity for abundance. It’s refusing to comply in advance.

This isn’t a matter of adjusting some source code; we need to create a new game, one where everyone can play, where the rules are fair, where winning doesn't require everyone else to lose.

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Practical Tips to Subvert the Patriarchy in your:

Workplace

• Promote Equity: Push for fair pay, diverse leadership, and transparent workplace policies.

• Challenge Bias: Speak out against discrimination and advocate for equitable workloads.

• Mentor and Sponsor Marginalized Identities: Actively support women and marginalized individuals in your field or community.

Parenting and Relationships

• Model Equality: Advocate for shared responsibilities in caregiving and household labor.

• Teach Consent and Boundaries: Normalize respect and autonomy in all interactions, teach them about consent and how to communicate boundaries.

• Encourage Emotional Expression: Support unmasking masculinity, openness and vulnerability across all genders.

Everyday Actions

• Critically Engage with Media: Educate yourself about media literacy, avoid supporting content that perpetuates stereotypes; support representative and inclusive creators.

• Support Women-Owned Businesses: Prioritize spending on businesses led by women or marginalized groups.

• Value Your Time: Set boundaries to avoid unpaid or unequal emotional labor.

• “Even dickheads love their dogs,” says Carol Cadwalladr in The Guardian, “Find a way to connect to those you disagree with.”

🎉 In the comments, share your ideas for subverting the patriarchy OR share one small action you will take to subvert the patriarchy in your life.