Everything you shared is brilliantly said and well researched - and of course the neurodivergent in me kept wondering how you had the executive functioning to write and publish such a long and well-constructed piece! I would start and give up, then try again and make mistakes and avoid finishing this! I have a huge assortment of children’s books I have outlined and never taken the step forward to finally write. Your words are an inspiration on many levels
Thank you, Sara! I thought of you several times while writing in, in large part feeling gratitude for the work you do helping kids to feel comfortable with their zebra stripes.
As far as the "how" of the writing goes, the short answer is that this is my "job" right now and it takes me so much time (at least ten times longer than it used to take), requires a lot of self compassion, and I have so much support. It's been challenging to produce something even every two weeks, so I recently revisited high school english essay formats -- turns out outlining helps a lot for me, too! :)
This is honest and sharp in all the right ways. You say a lot of things people need to hear, especially those of us who’ve spent years questioning ourselves. Thank you 😊
And also, what Sara said. I envy your ability to put together something so extensive, personal, informative. My brain starts skipping when I write anything longer than 500 words lol
Brilliance and authenticity are two of your many strengths. I’m so grateful for you and for sharing this refreshing, enlightening perspective of neurodiversity.
Your words speak volumes, always eloquent and shining a light on dark spaces to bring awareness and wisdom. Thank you for speaking to your experience, and how you are navigating your journey. This is going to help so many people.
This helped me understand my son so much better. He was diagnosed with ADHD first in 3rd grade and then Autism as well before middle school. He was also in gifted and AIG and given the label twice exceptional. He gets A's on every test, but failed to turn in homework and class work. It was too boring and to do something boring literally hurts his brain. While I don't understand it, I know that it is true for him. He is now 15 and a half and when you're struggling with a rebellious attitude. We are trying so hard to help him but nothing seems to be working. We believe he is addicted to screens and when he gets on them, it's nearly impossible to get him to turn them off. He often has meltdowns and poor behavior for long after they are turned off. We have currently removed many of the electronics from our house. We tried buying a dumb phone but even it had games on it. Have you had any trouble with screens? A lot of the ways you described yourself are extremely similar to my son, so I wondered if you might have any information or advice. Thank you so much for sharing your story. If nothing else, it lets me know he is not alone. And from the looks of it, you are thriving with a beautiful family.
Thank you so much for sharing that this helped you understand your son better - I can't begin to tell you how meaningful that is to hear.
My first thought after reading your comment is how lucky your son is to have parents who are so supportive and invested in his health.
When it comes to screens, the answers are as unique as an individual, their goals and values, how a behavior impacts them, how they feel about it, how compatible it is with their environment, etc.
If he, like me, wouldn't have even known how to begin navigating some of these questions, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy has made all the difference for me, and there are quite a few programs out there catering to adolescents, including Therahive which I've heard great things about.
Yes. He wouldn't know how to answer those questions and would be angry that I even asked. He has had therapy on and off since 2nd grade. He threatened to jump off a 3 story balcony and the next day threatened to throw his sister off, needless to say we began therapy then. Over the years he has had six different therapists, but none have seemed to help. I will have to look into DBT. I've also heard that ABA therapy is good for people with autism. Right now something has to change because it is not sustainable.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Kelly. I have so much admiration for you and the work you are doing. A big part of my family's life in recent years has been ongoing learning around how to better understand, support, and advocate for our neurodivergent (autism + ADHD) kid. I LOVE that zebra quote so much. This was an incredibly insightful and touching essay. Thank you again. 🩷
Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing! Your quote about "performing emotional wellness" resonates deeply with me. DBT similarly has supported me in coming into and embodying my wise mind more fully. I'm so sorry you went through the invalidation you went through, and I'm so happy you've now found the validation and support you deserve. So grateful that you get to now validate and help your child! We'll create a better world yet. <3
After my daughter was diagnosed at a young age and I heard the stats for self harm for females I said, “Not on my watch” and that’s when I started doing deep research and writing about it. Thank you for an excellent article.
Everything you shared is brilliantly said and well researched - and of course the neurodivergent in me kept wondering how you had the executive functioning to write and publish such a long and well-constructed piece! I would start and give up, then try again and make mistakes and avoid finishing this! I have a huge assortment of children’s books I have outlined and never taken the step forward to finally write. Your words are an inspiration on many levels
Thank you, Sara! I thought of you several times while writing in, in large part feeling gratitude for the work you do helping kids to feel comfortable with their zebra stripes.
As far as the "how" of the writing goes, the short answer is that this is my "job" right now and it takes me so much time (at least ten times longer than it used to take), requires a lot of self compassion, and I have so much support. It's been challenging to produce something even every two weeks, so I recently revisited high school english essay formats -- turns out outlining helps a lot for me, too! :)
Having a huge assortment of outlines seems like such a running start. Maybe something like this is next? https://wp.writingclasses.com/courses/childrens-book-writing-i/
This is honest and sharp in all the right ways. You say a lot of things people need to hear, especially those of us who’ve spent years questioning ourselves. Thank you 😊
And also, what Sara said. I envy your ability to put together something so extensive, personal, informative. My brain starts skipping when I write anything longer than 500 words lol
Brilliance and authenticity are two of your many strengths. I’m so grateful for you and for sharing this refreshing, enlightening perspective of neurodiversity.
Your words speak volumes, always eloquent and shining a light on dark spaces to bring awareness and wisdom. Thank you for speaking to your experience, and how you are navigating your journey. This is going to help so many people.
Thank you for your support and encouragement, Lisa!!
This helped me understand my son so much better. He was diagnosed with ADHD first in 3rd grade and then Autism as well before middle school. He was also in gifted and AIG and given the label twice exceptional. He gets A's on every test, but failed to turn in homework and class work. It was too boring and to do something boring literally hurts his brain. While I don't understand it, I know that it is true for him. He is now 15 and a half and when you're struggling with a rebellious attitude. We are trying so hard to help him but nothing seems to be working. We believe he is addicted to screens and when he gets on them, it's nearly impossible to get him to turn them off. He often has meltdowns and poor behavior for long after they are turned off. We have currently removed many of the electronics from our house. We tried buying a dumb phone but even it had games on it. Have you had any trouble with screens? A lot of the ways you described yourself are extremely similar to my son, so I wondered if you might have any information or advice. Thank you so much for sharing your story. If nothing else, it lets me know he is not alone. And from the looks of it, you are thriving with a beautiful family.
Thank you so much for sharing that this helped you understand your son better - I can't begin to tell you how meaningful that is to hear.
My first thought after reading your comment is how lucky your son is to have parents who are so supportive and invested in his health.
When it comes to screens, the answers are as unique as an individual, their goals and values, how a behavior impacts them, how they feel about it, how compatible it is with their environment, etc.
If he, like me, wouldn't have even known how to begin navigating some of these questions, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy has made all the difference for me, and there are quite a few programs out there catering to adolescents, including Therahive which I've heard great things about.
Yes. He wouldn't know how to answer those questions and would be angry that I even asked. He has had therapy on and off since 2nd grade. He threatened to jump off a 3 story balcony and the next day threatened to throw his sister off, needless to say we began therapy then. Over the years he has had six different therapists, but none have seemed to help. I will have to look into DBT. I've also heard that ABA therapy is good for people with autism. Right now something has to change because it is not sustainable.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Kelly. I have so much admiration for you and the work you are doing. A big part of my family's life in recent years has been ongoing learning around how to better understand, support, and advocate for our neurodivergent (autism + ADHD) kid. I LOVE that zebra quote so much. This was an incredibly insightful and touching essay. Thank you again. 🩷
Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing! Your quote about "performing emotional wellness" resonates deeply with me. DBT similarly has supported me in coming into and embodying my wise mind more fully. I'm so sorry you went through the invalidation you went through, and I'm so happy you've now found the validation and support you deserve. So grateful that you get to now validate and help your child! We'll create a better world yet. <3
After my daughter was diagnosed at a young age and I heard the stats for self harm for females I said, “Not on my watch” and that’s when I started doing deep research and writing about it. Thank you for an excellent article.